difference

I welcome your response on a confusion of a feminist friend.

Talking on difference why do we not address the issue of difference between men and women in the same way as we address the diffence between women of different caste, class and region. How do we talk of gender?

I often felt that the approach we have on the older issues is a bit partial. we try to evade the issues of classic feminism thinking that it is older and pretend we live in a society where many earlier question has been resolved. Another thing I want to get your response is that when you move from one position to another and has resolved certain problems how will you respond to the sections of society which is still in the grip of that problem. Will you live in a world of your own without much communication with more patriarchal society? Or will you perform many roles and carry many selves and spend more time deciding how should i comment here and which body language i shouuld exhibit here?

These are the question I encounter only now when I stopped and declared to myself that I have stopped my search for an utopia and have to be social. I would like to be introduced to you in terms of the socialization of your feminist subjects.

class

To be a teacher offers a space for performance. you a a theater person and editor and director. At time you get good shots. Sometimes everything cooperate and you feel yo have prepared a good scene. Many flops follows and you realize you a bad film maker.
I thought of many ways to begin the South African novel "My Son's Story". I didn't begin with an account on Nadine Godimer.
We started with notions on creativity and relationship. how to construct oneself , violating from the notions of once parents. I asked then from where did they get their notions of love.
They started speaking of so many things. They didn't miss out queer relations.
IS it because they are students of English literature and their syllabus has been made politically as correct as possible? I'm happy with the Syllabus. Not just by reading it. But by experiencing the quality of sensibility in the students of third year B.A.
My colleagues might have done a good job.

on emotions

One of my friends is sad that she has once frozen her emotions due to deep pain and now she cannot call them back. She knows this is not the ways she wants to live but knows not how to
be emotional without doing harm to her sense of well being. She summerised her problems as not being able to decide what all comes to the box of herself.

There are moments when I too share this. I find myself confused before a set of problems of which I cannot decide whether My sanity is important or the solution to the problem of a friend. And most often a choice is made to solve the issue at the risk of my sanity. I saw her on the virge of insanity and could identify with her completely. But life has gifted me with options to survive. I do get drowned in the mess of the emotional complexities as before but it takes lesser time to get out. And I'm happy that people are capable of emotional depth.

A very dear friend once tole me that he had fallen in love for three times and has been in hell each time the relations brakes. But he preferred to be in hell than to be balanced without being in love wholeheartedly.

A feminist friend once expressed her contempt over another feminist in police department for crying over phone. And i was restless of the fact that she is in academics. I wait for a day when activists stop promoting any kind of false sense of self.

If our political people feels that crying is weakness I would happily be weak before them.

Do you know that one of the strongest friend of mine had her email id asking us to laugh and cry louder?

a bus journey.

signboards-- May be because I was a happy person that day--Everything around was capable of taking me to happiness. A board carrying an arrow mark said "toilet 30 meters from here". There was so much love present in that message. A world opened up where everyone takes care of others.

In the bus there was the song "bewafa..." someone was repenting the love showered over a person who turned out to be a cheat. two three songs followed that again tried to catch feelings for a bewafa. What a wonderful medium to discharge negative feelings! And a mass was waiting patiently, risking their afternoon on it. (though somebody with an i-pod managed to throw the public feelings out)

I like 502 bus, there's always some way of beautiful communication.

well, I'm back to writing. The main block to blogging was a feeling that I have needlessly talked a lot about myself. A wretched feeling of despair followed from the knowledge that i don't access the world in its "strange" orientations and am out of the tracks of its race.

In other words I could not find myself interested in the interests of many a women and men around. Then I paused, lend myself to the world of children, had a baby of my womb. That was fascinating and rewarding as far as depth of love is concerned. what about its breadth?

Life is not one dimensional. Why did all those passionate hearts always talk of depth? I now want to explore the other dimensions as well. But the brainstructure was so alligned that i could not be anything other than the rebel of dominant standards. I dint have any clue to reach the larger world and learn to be interested in the ways of the normal. All my creative energy was spend in being abnormal and asserting that the normal is boring;..

Now all of a sudden a revelation came. I got connected to the "normal" society through a tide of love, In my way inward i have learned to love those people whom my beloveds love. In that case definitely there is a way to be interested in the stuffs that they are interested in. HA! I got the link, the password to read the surface lines, to watch the mad games..to wage a hardcore battle. I'm in love. To the love the world of adults you have to be in love with the adults.